Sociopaths vs. Psychopaths

Most of us have run across one or the other. I had a recent encounter with a sociopath and had no idea. Wow is all I can say. Here are the differences between the two:

Characteristics of a sociopath are as followed :

1. Sociopaths are very charming.

2. Sociopaths can be extremely manipulative and will try to con you whenever possible.

3. Sociopaths feel that they are entitled to everything.

4. Sociopaths will lie continuously to get what they want. They can even sometimes manipulate a lie detector.

5. Sociopaths have no remorse, shame or guilt.

6. Sociopaths will show love and happiness only when it serves their purpose. None of the feelings are genuine.

7. Sociopaths have no room for love in their life.

8. Sociopaths need to have excitement in their lives or live on the edge.

9. Sociopaths have lack of empathy hen their victims suffer pain that they have caused.

10. Sociopaths believe that they are all mightier than tho, there is no concern on how their behavior impacts others.

11. Sociopaths usually have a long history of juvenile delinquency as well as behavior problems.

12. Sociopaths will never take blame for anything they have done to anyone no matter if it is family or friend.

13. Sociopaths have many sexual partners and tend to act out many sexual acts.

14. Sociopaths rarely stay in one place for a long time (home/work).

15. Sociopaths will change themselves if they know it will keep them from being found out.

Characteristics of a psychopath are as followed:

1. Psychopaths use superficial charm to lure their victims.

2. Psychopaths are extremely self-centered.

3. Psychopaths must always do something to keep themselves from boredom.

4. Psychopaths are very deceptive and tend to lie continuously.

5. Psychopaths show no remorse of guilt towards their victims.

6. Psychopaths are very predatory and usually will live off other people.

7. Psychopaths have many sexual partners in their lifetime.

8. Psychopaths are very impulsive with their lifestyle.

9. Psychopaths are always blaming other people for their actions.

10. Psychopaths never have a realistic view of their lives. (king of the world or from another planet)

11. Psychopaths always want psychological gratification in sexual and criminal activities.

12. Psychopaths tend to try suicide, rarely succeeding.

An Outing with The Sisterhood

I finally had a chance to connect with a few of the ladies that will be part of my "focus group" for The Sisterhood. We went to my favorite painting spot, Pinots Palette, here in Dallas. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The ladies were a bit nervous at first but once they got into the groove, they relaxed and got into the painting. We chatted in between brush strokes, laughed, and soaked up the atmosphere. It was a great night. 

Phoenix

Like the Phoenix I rose from the ashes

You can't kill me, I've already been dead and came back alive 

Surprised? You shouldn't be I'm like a cat with nine lives

Stronger, better, wiser and fearless

So go ahead life gimme your best shot

The strength that I gained from experiencing death while living aint enough to kill the vibe I got

I may get knocked down but best believe I will get up

Like the Phoenix I will arise from the ashes, burned, made new

To myself I shall always remain true

I've been through the firey pit of hell and have no choice but to excel

From here on out living with a purpose is what it's all about

So I spread my wings and fly

No need for marijuana I use life to get high

Flying high I'm free, free to be whoever and whatever I want to be

My destiny is determined by me

I'm a Phoenix. I shall always be free

Hope

This is for al those who think things won't get better. They will, just takes time.

Just because things aren't how they used to be doesn't mean I can't still enjoy life as the new me

What should've killed me made me stronger and for that reason I want to live longer

I have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill so I'm trusting in Him and his perfect will.

I was given this life because I'm strong enough to live it and I won't waste a minute

I'm holding onto hope, hope that everything will be ok

I'm holding on the fact that I know it's a brighter day ahead of me

I'm too full of life to give up and quit my fight

I'm holding onto hope that everything will be alright 

The Old Me

I want to go back to the old me. The old me that was worry and carefree. The me that able to save wisely but still spend freely. The old me that took trips with friends and always had activities on the calendar to attend. Now I'm a recluse because I lack funds to have fun. People don't believe it when I say I'm broke. I know I say a lot of funny stuff but that is no joke. Haven't had the money to do the things I used to do and live the way I'm used to. I can't even pay my rent on the date it's due. A mountain of debts and calls from creditors that I avoid daily, I need superman to come in and rescue or save me. Insecurity issues on top of mounting self loathing, thank God for therapy where I do all my unloading. I unload all my problems, concerns and fears, sometimes I even shed tears. I'm  not sure if the tears I shed now are from depression or because I miss my old life with no therapy sessions.   I want my old life back.. Can I have it back? I'm not the me I used to be, not sure if I like the new me.

Revelation

Constantly reaching out to a hand that isn't there. You always say you love me but never show me that you care. As I deal my daily issues all I can think about is how much I miss you.a part of my life for so long, some things were right but most of it wrong. The jail time, the drugs, the women, and the lies I was there through it all. . I've known you for 11 years yet now I don't even know who you are. You've guarded yourself against getting hurt by me but I loved you with everything that was in me. Just Like Bonnie and Clyde and Romeo and Juliet our love story has a tragic end. Yet and still you always want to remain my friend. I call you don't answer. I text you don't reply. The only question I have is why? All I ever did was love you. I tried to be the perfect woman for you so that you'd  never want another. had dreams of being a wife and a mother. Selfish of you to only think of your heart while mine has been ripped out, torn, and shredded apart. Chasing after a love that doesn't want to be caught, it's the hardest lesson I've ever been taught. learning to let go and love me without you, is one of the things I never thought I'd have to do. I'm the perfect girl but for the wrong guy. I should smile at this revelation instead I want to cry. As I put the pieces of my life back together, a part of you will always exist in the back of my mind. I was far to kind and wish I could  press rewind and do things differently. I've come to the conclusion that this love wasn't meant to be.

Ring The Alarm

These cuts on my body are from self harm. Instead of screaming out, I cut myself and watch the blood stream out. As the endorphins release I'm subdued and soothed. Feeling much like I'm overlooked and ignored, the only thing I can control are these cuts. One cut for my mom who pays me no attention, one cut for the father who is missing in action, and another cut for the students at school who laugh and taunt me because I can't do fractions. This is my form of self medication and while its not a drug it's still as addictive. I'm addicted to the rush I feel, when I get the first gush from the first cut. Oh how I love that sensation. I want to stop, need to stop, but I can't resist the temptation. The temptation to open my flesh and let my emotions pour out like tears. It eases my fears and draws me nearer to myself cuz I'm the only one who understands me best. I've got it bad. My arms, legs and hands show the battle scars from the internal war I'm fighting with myself. A Razor, knife, or scissors are my choice of weapon to fight the inner demons that seem to keep screaming. Screaming at me to do it and get it over with. Ring the alarm! Ring the alarm! I'm slowly killing myself with self harm. Take all these sharp objects away from me,  I'm not strong enough to resist the urge to purge my feelings through blood.

Liability

Is loving me a liability? Does it weaken your ability to function physically and mentally? You give me the best of you sexually but can't openly admit to loving me. Not ready to deny, accept, deal with, or feel the emotions that come with falling for some one. One day you're here, the next you're gone. How am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to deal? Deal with your inept ability to let go and let love take the course it was already on, to open up your heart and let it love me. I thought I was an asset but maybe to you I'm just a liability

A Great Day in Mental Health

On yesterday the Obama administration launched mentalhealth.gov a website dedicated to mental health news and updates. Not only is this site for those who suffer from mental illness but it also provide information to those who are clueless to the different types of mental illnesses that exists. The site has myths and facts, a section on what to look for if you or someone you know may have a mental illness, as well as a directory by zip code of treatment facilities. I have only browsed the site but I'm loving whatnot see this far. There is so much to learned about mood disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, etc. 

If you or someone you know is need of help please direct them to this site, you don't have to suffer in silence!

Do You See Me

Look past the perfectly applied makeup and the perfectly manicured nails and toes, the designer labels and fancy clothes. Look past the flashy red car that screams look at me, and look at me. You see me but you see what you want to see. I'm so transparent you can see through me. I lay it all out and still you ask what is this about? I'm feeling invisible. Everything about me is visible. To the untrained eye, I got it all together, boy is that a lie. I don't know who I am from day to day and its hard to keep track of all my thoughts. The thoughts that keep me up at night, the thoughts that consume me during the day, the thoughts that don't go away no matter how hard I pray. Keeping it all together when I'm torn apart snd confused inside is a task. How can I help you ask? You can't. It's a problem that has to fix itself.. A problem that takes time, patience and persistence to overcome. In the meantime I'll just continue to come undone.. Behind the makeup, the manicured nails and designer labels, a woman is wanting to be seen, needs to be seen, yearns to be seen. Do you see me?

Sparkle

That sparkle in her eye is no longer there. All she does now is sit and stare. Stare  into space and wonder where did it all go wrong. Wonders if she'll ever find the man with whom she belongs. Wonders if she'll ever be the mother that she never had and give her child not a father, but a dad. She's not daddy's little girl cuz he was too busy chasing skirt tails to show her how a real man treats the woman he loves. Looking for love in all the wrong places, at least her body  has no traces of the sign of abuse that she's been taking. Neglected, abused, mistreated, and misused..yet and still she longs for a love that isn't returned. Tear stained pillows and eyes swollen from numerous nights of crying, sobbing, and then theres always the headache that comes with its throbbing. the sparkle in her eye is no longer there,  She yearns for the day  when that sparkle in her eye will return, for then she will know she's found love and it's been returned.

Side Effects

Anyone who takes medication knows that there are side effects and risks associated with taking the prescribed medication. It is always important to read the information attached to your prescription when you pick it up especially if it's a new medication. I take klonopin, Effexor xr, and ambien. Of these, ambien has the worst side effects. People on ambien have been known to sleepwalk, cook, drive or even have sex all while being asleep!  I'm thankful to not have had any of these side effects.

 With that being said I want to talk about a movie I watched this weekend call "Side Effects". It stars Catherine Zeta-Jones, Channing Tatum, Jude Law, and Rooney Mara. Unlike Silver Linings Playbook, this movie is a thriller/mystery versus comedy. A great movie from beginning to end and definitely help my attention. I won't give away any of the movie but you definitely get a look inside of a person who has side effects of medication and what could happen as a result of taking the wrong combination of medication. 

Supporting Mental Illness

I never thought I'd be a supporter of anything but designer labels and fine dining..lol. But look at me now! Almost one year after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety I'm an advocate for mental health awareness. I had this shirt made by @itsjustpaint on Instagram from the logo designed by Lisa Rogers of @designed2design of Instagram also. I love supporting small business and I love the work they both do. Here I am on yesterday wearing my green and a smile. 

                         

                                                        Here's a close up of the logo 

                           

Introduction: What is The Sisterhood About?

As a woman who suffers from depression and anxiety I've experienced highs and lows during the past year. I'd been racking my brain trying to find out how I could help the next woman. My solution was The Sisterhood. The Sisterhood is a nonprofit organization in Dallas, dedicated to helping women with mental illnesses cope, heal, and recover through the arts. May is mental health awareness month and I've been doing my part to get the word out. I've worn green every Friday, since green is the color for mental health awareness, and others have joined me. 

I supported anti suicide day which was May 13th 

as well as the I'm still here project, on May 20th, which asked people who had been bullied, suffered from depression, cutting, anxiety, etc to write I'm still here on their wrist. 

These are all nonverbal ways to show support and raise awareness. Please show your support by wearing green on Friday and tagging @thesisterhood2013 on Instagram. Through this blog I will keep you all posted on what activities the organization will be doing as well as posting motivational pictures, artwork and sharing my poetry.