The Old Me

I want to go back to the old me. The old me that was worry and carefree. The me that able to save wisely but still spend freely. The old me that took trips with friends and always had activities on the calendar to attend. Now I'm a recluse because I lack funds to have fun. People don't believe it when I say I'm broke. I know I say a lot of funny stuff but that is no joke. Haven't had the money to do the things I used to do and live the way I'm used to. I can't even pay my rent on the date it's due. A mountain of debts and calls from creditors that I avoid daily, I need superman to come in and rescue or save me. Insecurity issues on top of mounting self loathing, thank God for therapy where I do all my unloading. I unload all my problems, concerns and fears, sometimes I even shed tears. I'm  not sure if the tears I shed now are from depression or because I miss my old life with no therapy sessions.   I want my old life back.. Can I have it back? I'm not the me I used to be, not sure if I like the new me.